The Affairs of Men

Very interesting article in the New York Magazine. It talks about the difficulties of monogamy in marriage. Tough topic. But I just took a personality test today that says I am a Brownie, and us Brownies are champions of underdogs, slayers of dragons, and tend to be very loyal. So, this brownie-loving girl has something to say, particularly about this quote in the article.

“I haven’t ever seen anyone who doesn’t deliver on every single demand their sexuality makes on them. We make the mistake of thinking some people have a stronger will, they don’t,” says a forward-thinking friend. “There is no more unnatural principle of social organization than sexual exclusivity.”

I despise controversial topics because arguing gives me a splitting headache, but let's go to the Bible because God's word is the period at the end of every sentence.

We all have sexual desires whether married or single, male or female. But is it wise to act on these desires?

"'Everything is permissible for me' -- but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' -- but I will not be mastered by anything." 1 Cor. 6:12.

Acting on sexual desires is not always in our best interest. So, maybe we shouldn't. Simple enough, right?

This leads us to the statement about strong will power. The person who made the statement is actually correct to a certain degree because we all struggle with sin (Romans 7). So expecting a married person to be monogamous because of their strong will is like a set up for disaster. We all have moments where even though we love God and want to do his will, there is another part of us that wants to table God's will for our own desires.

Strong will doesn't keep us, God does. The only way to overcome our sin nature is to set our minds on what God desires (Romans 8). No small feat, but we have to wrap ourselves in His word. And I'll toss this out there. It helps to remove yourself from certain situations.

We have to trust that God knows what is best for us. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Our understanding can never surpass God's and he says, "No" to sex outside of marriage. Period. (Hebrews 13:4... I think the Message says it best for folks like me who needed to see it plain and simple before actually attempting to live it out).

That leads us to the marriage bed.
We can toss statistics about marriage failures all day long. But let's start at the very beginning.
Let's consider the foundations of these marriages... rock or sand? (Matthew 7:24-27)
Let's also consider the fertility of our hearts... path, rock, thorns or good soil? (Luke 8:4-15)

If the vast majority of us don't allow God to lead our lives, and guide us to make the right decisions, why are we surprised by the statistics?

Better yet, are the statistics a better gauge of how our lives should be lived?

Of course not. God is bigger.

Love 1 Cor. 13,
Makeda